Victories

Last week I did a pinup girl photo shoot. Now, I am not shy, never have been. Even at my largest size. BUT, in the past I would have never done a picture in a tub, nude, but I am so happy with how they turned out. I started back to the gym on Monday. On Tuesday I had a new assessment done. I may have mentioned to the trainer that I signed up for the mudrun, so she geared my new workout to train me for that. My last assessment was March 7, 2013, since then I have lost 18 pounds (16 of those since June 27) and 17 inches overall. I can't tell you how happy that made me! I wasn't going to go today, I was going to let Wednesday's be my rest day because I normally come into work early, but today I didn't have to be in until noon and a friend called and asked me to join her. I jogged 1 mile to the gym then lifted weights when I got there. I am sore all over, but I like it! I have a friend that is going to see a bariatric doctor and is losing weight. She has been giving me her old clothes as she shrinks out of them. YAY for me because I really haven't had to buy anything. So on Monday I stopped by and picked up some stuff from her, that evening I took all of the capris, blue jeans, and shorts out of my closet to try them on. She had given me some size 18 & 16's that I held onto because I would be able to wear them this winter even though they were too tight when I got them. I tried every pair on.....the 18's are too big, all the 16's fit and I even got into some 14's!!! Sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't see a big difference in myself but after trying on those clothes I can! I got on the scale this morning and she was so nice to me.....212 pounds.....that is an 80 pound loss so far!!! 62 more to go!!!!

My Story

This is my story. The story is not finished, but I'd like to share it so far..... I have been over weight my entire life. I was picked on as a child by my own family members for being the fat sister. As I got older (teenager) I was confident with my body, even though I was over weight. Throughout high school I did envy my skinny, pretty friends, but overall I was content with myself. I met my husband in high school, we graduated in 1997 and got married in 1999. The day of our wedding I weighed about 175 pounds and I was happy at that size. Right after we got married I quit working and quickly gained weight. In 2000 I got pregnant with our only daughter. At that point I was almost 200 pounds. The day I had her I weighed 255 pounds. I thought that wasn't that bad, I had only gained 55 pounds. Since that day in April of 2001 I haven't weighed less than that. Skip ahead 5 years......the Husband and I separated. We were separated for an entire year and were days away from our final divorce hearing. ***SPOILER ALERT*** We didn't divorce! He moved back home December of 2007. In February of 2008 I started having vision problems. I went to a few eye doctors and specialist, turns out it wasn't my eyes it was a tumor on my pituitary gland that was pressing on my optic nerve. Long story short, I have brain surgery on April 9, 2008. I didn't go back to work after the brain surgery, more weight gain. Then the fall of that year the dentist found that I had oral cancer. On December 4, 2008 I had surgery for that. In 2009 I still wasn't working and had gained even more weight. I went back to work in November of 2009, but continued gaining weight throughout the next 2 years. In July 2011 the neurosurgeon found that the tumor was growing again. 2nd brain surgery on July 27, 2011. It was an ordeal this time. He still couldn't get all of the tumor out and I developed a spinal fluid leak the night of the surgery, so he had to go back in and do it over the next day. It was tough on me. I was out of work for about a month and a half. At this point I'm on up in the 200's.

In late 2011 a friend told me about her lapband surgery journey. She had amazing results, but I was unsure if I could do it, but I wanted to give it a shot. I talked with the doctor and in January of 2012 I started my own journey

That story begins here..... January 19, 2012 I had my first medically supervised weight loss appointment, I had to go once a week for 6 weeks and weigh in and talk to the doctor about diet and exercise. On my first appointment I wanted to cry or die one. I got on the scale and it said 292 pounds. I was humiliated!!! How does somebody get to that? I had no idea, but I had let myself do it. At that point I was serious, I was losing weight if it killed me. I did my 6 weeks and then had to do a 2 week liquid diet before the actual surgery. So I had lost a few pounds during this process. On surgery day I weighed 281 pounds. I was losing weight but not as fast as I would have liked. I still had the mindset that the band was going to do it for me. In October of 2012 my tumor had grown again (at this point I was about tired of this dang tumor) my neurosurgeon said he can't get it all with surgery so he opted for radiation. I had 25 treatments. The oncologist told me I absolutely could not lose any weight during this time. I saw this as a huge set back, but I did what the doctor told me. After that I just kind of gave up on losing weight. I still worked out, but I ate crap. From September to June of this year I had only lost 6 pounds. I had just made up my mind that I was defeated, I was going to be 230ish pounds the rest of my life. I got over that pretty quick. June 27, 2013 I went to my lapband surgeon and had a sit down. I told him I was concerned that I couldn't do this. He adjusted my band. Since that day I have lost 16 pounds. As of today I weigh 213 pounds. My journey is far from over, but I am proud of every single I have lost. I still want to lose about 60 more pounds and I know that I can do it. It has been a long hard road, and I'm not off that road yet, but the road is getting a little less bumpy. During this journey I have ran (I use this term very loosely) in two 5K races and I just signed up for my first mudrun. Never in my life did I think I could do any of that, but I do and I love it.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope someone, somewhere can find some encouragement in it. ~Brandy A. brandy.arm@hotmail.com

A LITTE BAND FILL

On Thursday of last week I went in for an adjustment. I haven't had a fill since December 2012. The nurse practitioner gave me 1cc......woah.......too much!!!! I went back that afternoon for a slight unfill, she took out .5cc. Thursday night and Friday night I was up all night with horrible heartburn, it was so bad I felt like I had a ball of acid in my throat. So I figured I would have to go back Monday to have more fluid took out. Not the case. A good friend that has the lapband told me to try some Zantac and Prevacid. It worked wonders and I have good restriction. I have lost 9lbs since Thursday. I am down to 220lbs! WooHoo!!! I have been so discouraged since I have been the same weight for months. On Monday my husband and I started a weight loss challenge for the month of July. We also started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. Jillian is tough!!! She kicked my tail last night and then this morning I tried it again, I couldn't hang! I quit halfway through. Hoping for good results!!!!!

5K RESULTS

Follow my blog with Bloglovin  It was cold and rainy, there were over 5000 people signed up. That is double our town's population. It was so crowded.

 When the gun went off it was a slow walk to the start line. Once I crossed the start line I jogged, Husband and B were right in front of me, weaving in and out of people. I kept thinking if I can keep sight of them I'll be doing good. I jogged the first half mile without stopping. I have never jogged that far before. I always walk because I can't run.....WHATEVER.....that's a cop out! After that half mile I lost sight of Husband and B, I walked a little ways, then jogged down the big hill. I kept this pace for a while, jog, walk, jog, walk. I had my Pandora cranked up and I was by myself, well, besides the thousands of people around me. When I got tired I could hear Mama Laughlin say "JUST KEEP GOING" and that's what I did, I just kept going. I prayed, I prayed for God to pick my feet up off the pavement and to push me to the finish line. At about mile 1.5 it started raining harder, I couldn't see out of my glasses so I put them on my head, then I really couldn't see. BUT, I kept on going. At less than 1 mile left to go I was give out. I had made up my mind that I was just going to walk the rest, screw my goal of under 50 minutes. Then I saw these two ladies with a sign that said, "IN 400 METERS YOU CAN HAVE A BEER AT THE BARKER BAR." Now, I don't drink beer, but one of those ladies must have seen the defeat on my face, she looked right at me and said, "you can do it." That gave me just enough motivation to run. I ran for a ways and was about to walk when I caught a glimpse of the finish line. As one song was going off of Pandora, I said, "If Pandora will give me one more rockin' song, I can finish strong." Well, low and behold KID FREAKIN' ROCK came on! Not one of my favorite Kid Rock songs, but Kid Rock none the less!!!! I ran to the finish line, soaked in rain and sweat, fighting back tears, as I crossed the finish line Husband and B were waiting there cheering me on! I looked at the gun time and it said 47:42......WHAT?!?!?! I finished in under 50 minutes, I beat my goal! And I ran way more than I ever thought I could, a slow run, but a run! I barely held back the tears, I still may cry today, I am so proud of myself!!!!

  I realize that 3.1 miles in 50 minutes is nothing to a lot of people, but to me, a fat girl who has sat on her couch eating cupcakes all her life, that is a major accomplishment!!!!

 So the results are in......my official time is 44:41!!!!

 Thank you all for the motivation and inspiration. Thanks for the encouraging words, and thanks for following my journey!

SWAP RABBIT 5K TAKE 2

 It's the morning of my 2nd organized 5K. I am super excited. I realize I will walk almost all of it, and I'm ok with that. I know I will be able to jog in VERY short spurts, but those spurts will be longer and maybe a tad faster than they were last year when I did this same 5K. I am excited that Husband is doing it with me tonight..... the 5K that is (get your minds out of the gutter, Geeesh). Last year my goal was to FINISH, NOT DIE, and FINISH IN UNDER AN HOUR. I did all of those. This year my goals are to HAVE FUN, FINISH IN UNDER 50 MINUTES, and JUST KEEP GOING (Mama Laughlin)!!!!!

 What I'm not excited about is the rainy, cold, dreary day.W hen I first woke up, I thought, "Well, I guess we'll just stay home tonight since it's raining." But, FORGET THAT!!! I signed up for this and RAIN OR SHINE I'm going to do it!!!!! I may look like a wet rat when I'm done, but who gives a crap!!!!!

 LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!

Am I doomed to be a fat girl my whole life?????

 I have been MIA for a while. I'm not sure how many, if any read this blog. I just haven't had it in me to tell the world that I am at a stand still. I fell as though I'm always at a stand still. I'll do a little recap.......

January 19, 2012 was the first day of the rest of my life, I went to my first medically supervised weight loss appointment, I weighed 292 pounds. That makes me SICK!!!

April 9, 2012 I had my lap-band surgery.

May 6, 2012 I did my first 5K. I had 3 goals......
1. NOT DIE
2. FINISH
3. FININSH IN UNDER AN HOUR
As you can see, I didn't die, and I finished in 55:11. I was super proud of myself.

After that me, Husband, and B walked almost everyday and I did Sweating to the Oldies (Richard Simmons ain't no joke for an almost 300lb girl).

In October of 2012 my brain tumor had grown, so I had 5 weeks of radiation. Hello, BRICK WALL!!!! I was told not to lose any weight during this time and for a month after the treatments were over, translation.....I ate like the devil and sat on my couch.....I did nothing. I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any either. It was like starting all over from the beginning for me. I still feel like I'm starting over.

 February 2013 I joined the YMCA. I FREAKIN love it!!!! I would go and get on the treadmill or the bike for an hour, work up a decent sweat and I was done.

 February 2013, I quit my full time, steady job to go to work for a friend. I am still working for him, but it is very part time, not steady money. I keep holding on thinking it's going to take off any time now. I have come to the realization in the last few days that I am going to have to find another job. Can we say STRESS!!!!

 In March I did the Wellness Works Program at the Y. The trainer did an assessment and set me up on a weight program. Since I am barely working I WAS going to the Y everyday Monday - Friday. I am in love with doing weights, so I tend to slack on cardio. The last few times I have gone, I park my car in town and walk 1.5 miles to the YMCA, do my weight workout, then walk 1.5 miles back to my car. I love doing that, but my schedule is so WACK, I have only been going like 2x a week. I am finding it hard to find the motivation to go.

 As of today.....I got on the scale and I weigh 229.8. So, all in all I have lost 63 pounds in 15 months. I am proud of every one of the 63 pounds, but I feel like it should be more.

 Once again, I am starting today. I am on my way to walk to the Y and workout. I have a goal to be under 200 pounds by my 34th birthday.....which is July 13th. Even if I am 199.9! So I have to bust out 3 pounds a week. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm sure gonna try.


 Oh......I am doing my 2nd organized 5K this Friday!

July 13th

 This is the day of my 34th birthday, and the day I have set to reach my next goal. That goal is to be 199 pounds!!!! I haven't been under 200lbs in I don't know when (I honestly don't). This gives me 18 weeks and 2 days. I know I can do it, it's just laying off the junk food that's going to be tough for me. I do pretty good on eating well.....well......I did until I quit my freakin job! What the heck was I thinking?!?!?!?! I had another job lined up......well......it's looking like that is falling through. Now here I sit.....and sit......and sit......with no job. And while I sit I crave junk!!!!!

 OK....back to my goal. This morning at the YMCA I did my wellness works accessment. Basically it's a little fitness test.... weight, blood pressure, body fat, BMI, then you do some exercises......3 minute step test, sit-ups, and bench presses. Then the trainer sets you up on an exercise program. My goal is to lose 2 pounds per week. I can do that! My trainer lady kept complimenting me on my legs, she kept saying I have very nice, muscular calves. Who, me? Me? The 232 pound fatty???? Nice calves???? When she did my measurements she said, "you really dont need to lose in your legs." Thanks for the ego boost, Sue! So starting today I am following an exercise program. I am so stoked about it too. I will do the program 2-3 days per week, and on the off days I will still do my cardio.

 Now, onto the job front......I had a job with a friend of mine that I met through my old job, he has a mechanic shop and just opened a car lot, I was to be working at his car lot. The goal was for me to start March 4th, well, I quit my job a week and a half earlier. I expected to be out of work for a week, today has been 2 weeks. I got my last paycheck today and I have no job. I was told we would meet up Sunday to discuss the arrangements, because he needs to be at both places and can't, we were going to rotate, when he has to be at the lot or auction I would be at the shop, when he had to be at the shop I would be at the lot. Sunday he said he was busy and I could meet him Monday that he had a plan worked out and I would start Tuesday. Monday came and went and so did Tuesday. I still haven't heard from him. So today I texted him to see what was up, nothing.....he hasn't called or texted back. So, I am a little pissed he knew I was quitting my job and he knows I don't have another one. I know that he needs me and maybe he's just been too busy to get with me. If I don't hear anything this week I will start looking for something else. Had I known this I would have never left my job in HELL. Oh, here's a little kicker for those of you who haven't had enough.....my boss in HELL is his wife's best friend! Wowza!!!!! As I type this I realize that I may possibly be the biggest idiot in blogland, WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING?!?!?!?!?!

 Oh well.....you live and learn.

TTT

1. I haven't blogged in a while, I have alot to talk about

2. I got a new tattoo today, if I knew how to post pictures I would . It is an anchor that says HOPE ANCHORS THE SOUL. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!

3. I quit my job Wednesday a week ago. I was miserable there so I quit!

4. I have a new job lined up. I should be starting next week, and I am very excited about it.

5. I am holding steady at a 60 lb loss.

6. I have been going to the YMCA almost everyday. I said almost.

7. I did Zumba for the 1st time yesterday morning. I am not very good at it with all of my uncoordination and all. I was mostly doing something totally different and in the opposite direction of everyone else in the class. At one point I was just making up my own dance.

8. Husband got a new softball bat yesterday. It is a Miken Ultra. Probably alot of y'all don't know what that is. But it is TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!

9. I have signed up to play co-ed softball this season. I don't now how excited I am about this. I wanted to play but not so sure about co-ed. At least I will be playing with Husband.

10. B is in so much trouble.....she has been slacking on her school work and making bad grades. Middle School....UGH....She has gotten all of her electronic devices taken away until her next report card (April 9) she also got a whoopin. I was actually shocked that Husband whooped her.

Ice Cream Madness

 Friday night B went to a sleep over, so me and Husband had a little date. Nothing major, just went to dinner and came home to watch a movie. We ate supper at Fatz, I did really good, I order the lite side sirloin and steamed broccoli, total plate is less than 500 calories. I did have a sweet tea but barely drank any of it. I know you are all thinking, "oh, she's so awesome, I want to be her" DON'T.....on our way home we stopped at Ingles to rent a movie and that's when it happened......we walked down the ce cream isle, right to the Blue Belle, I now have a half gallon of Blue Belle Buttered Pecan ice cream in my freezer. Why oh why did I let myself do it????? I'm so disappointed, I didn't workout at all yesterday. That is the reason I am up at the butt crack of dawn on a Saturday when I have no kid and Husband is off work and we could stay in bed and cuddle (or whatever), so I can get my tail to the gym!!!


 Hope all y'all have a FABULOUS weekend!!!!

The Elliptical is a BITCH

 I started using my fitness pal yesterday, I am in love with it, but since I haven't been really keeping count on my calories, I realize how BAD I was really doing. Yesterday I was about 300 calories over. So I got my butt on that elliptical (we had some bad storms so I didn't go to church or the Y) I told myself, "Self, we are going to do more than 5 minutes if it kills us." And it almost did, but I made it through. Now, don't think I rocked it out last night, I did 5 minutes, stopped for 2, 5 more, stopped for 2 more, then 5 more minutes. That's right I did a total of 15 minutes on that bitch of a machine!!!! It felt GREAT, not so much today though, I am so SORE!!!!!

 Tonight I'm back at the Y for orientation at 6pm, then walk to run at 7pm. I can't wait!!!

Lapband Doc

 I went to the lapband doc this morning. I have lost 8.4 pounds since my last visit a month ago. Our scales are different so it is sometimes frustrating. She said I am doing good. She told me to stay away from the white stuff (sorry, Husband) to eat lots of protein and greens. I am doing pretty good with that lately. Oh.....I can't believe this.....GREAT NEWS.....this whole week (shut up, I know it's only Wednesday) I have gotten in at least 84oz of water everyday!!! This is a HUGE accomplishment for me!!!!

 Last night we joined the YMCA. I did the walk to run with the Biggest Losers. We only did one mile, walked 2 minutes, ran 1 minute. Normally I can WALK at least 5 miles, when I say normally I mean before September (that's when I stopped). That one mile kicked my tail last night. The end was straight up a hill. It was good for me. Thursday I am doing it again. They are doing it every Tuesday and Thursday and in April they are doing a 5K, which I am joining in on. I am STOKED!!!!

 I need to find some panties that I can workout in and they will stay up. You see, I have NO BUTT or hips. The drawers I wore last night were sliding off, I literally had to hold on to them while we ran. I normally don't wear any (TMI???) but I thought I would try it. Any suggestions????

 My goal is to be 199 pounds by summer!!! Husband keeps saying he can't wait to have a chubby wife.

 Still no baby. That little booger is pissing us off!

Y-M-C-A

 Come on, you know you just sang that! I did!!!!

 I am joining the YMCA after work today and I am totally stoked!!! I have been talking about all year and we're finally doing it. I have a friend that is doing a Biggest Loser thing with a local Christian radio show here and she goes there. I am excited to be able to workout with her. Don't get me wrong, I love Husband and all but he is light years ahead of me when it comes to fitness/athletics. I will love doing it (not actually it, although I do love that) with him too.

 Anyway, Missi's Biggest loser group is starting walk to run tonight and I am joining them. It's basically couch 25K. In March I am going to do a 5K with her and planning another in May. I hope by the one in May I will be able to run at least most of it.

 I go to the weight loss doc tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it, mostly because I have been a slacker this month. But like I said yesterday, I started over!!!!

 Still no baby!

Mondayness

 I have said this a million times, but today I mean business!!!! Today is the day that I start over. I have been losing a few pounds then gaining it back, I haven't been excersizing, drinking near enough water, or eating right. Well, this morning I started over.

 This week we are joing the YMCA, and today we are starting Couch 2 5K. I am super excited about this. I am determined that I will lose another 75lbs.

 I still hate the eliptical!!! I am still only doing 5 minutes at a time.

 BABY NEWS......

 That little booger still isn't here. Thursday she was dilated to 4 and they sent her home, Saturday they were back, she was dilated to 5, spent the night and they sent her home again on Sunday. The sister in law had to go back to GA yesterday and she's scared she won't make it in time next time.

Adoption

 Ok, so my sister in law is adopting a baby. Let me give y'all some background.....the baby belongs to her cousin's girlfriend. They already have a 1-2 year old and they broke up and she got knocked up by someone else, now they're (why don't the computer puncuate like the smart phone does....grrrr....) back together and she's pregnant. So at Christmas the cousin's mom asked the sister in law if she wanted the baby. So the sister in law and her husband have been frantically dealing with home studies and attorneys trying to get everything in order. The baby is due February 28th so they don't have much time.


                                     WELL......SHE'S IN LABOR!!!!!!!!!!!


 Nothing is done yet! They don't even have all the essentials. So today I have been at Babies R Us buying stuff and all over craigslist. Thankfully a friend of mine is giving her a very nice stroller/car seat combo! Thank you, Melissa!!!!

 I have been a nervous wreck because the people she's dealing with are certifiable and I'm afraid that they will back out and the sister in law will get her heart broken. The whole family is at the hospital waiting on the baby to get here (which I think that's crazy since she's not keeping him). The attorney has talked to the hospital and everything is supposed to be taken care of.


 Oh yeah.....the sister in law lives in another state. So she is driving 6 hours to get here when she gets off work at 6pm tonight.

 Any of you that pray, please do so for this situation and for this sweet baby boy that is coming into this world a month premature.


On a different note.....I HATE THE ELIPTICAL!!!!!! I thought, "I will start out doing 10 minutes and work up" NOT HAPPENING!!!! The past 3 days I have only been able to get through 5 minutes! That crap whoops my tail. This morning I did 5 minutes right before I left for work (that's right, in my work clothes) I almost fell down my steps because I couldn't feel my legs!

Elliptical

The Elliptical is moving back into the living room tonight! Look Out!!!!!

Weekend Randomness

 This post is going to be just a bunch of randomness.....

 First off, I have crept back up to 234lbs, I'm ok with that. We still haven't joined a gym, but we are doing it this week. We have decided on the YMCA.

 I have been sick for a week, I'm so over this crap. I NEVER get sick....other than crap like brain tumors and cancer, but this sinus / cold junk is for the birds!!!!!

 I took Friday off to spend the day with the family....well the family is also sick, so we spent the day laying around the house. We did get out that evening to go out to eat with some friends. I know, we're the best friends anyone could ask for, "Hey, y'all want to go out to eat with us, we may give all of y'all our nasty sick germs but we're such good company."

 Saturday I felt a little better so me and B and my BFF and her daughter went shopping and out to lunch and for ice cream (that's where the 234lbs comes into play) we had a marvelous time, but Saturday night I was sick as a dog. (Runon sentence much?)

 Sunday I stayed in bed all day, didn't go to church, didn't shower, didn't get out of my pajamas. I did take B to spend the night at Granny's, but I did that in my pajamas.

 Onto Monday....I still feel like death, but I came to work anyway. (again with the spreading of the nasty sick germs)

Short and oh so sweet

 I'm keeping this one short and sweet.

 Last week and this past weekend and today for that matter I just haven't felt like myself. I haven't felt like anyone else either! I am just feeling blah. I am super tired, I can't concentrate, I am having dizzy spells, and I can't see very well. I had an MRI Friday and I get the results this coming Friday. I am nervous that it is the dang tumor again. Praying that it's not!!!!

 Anyway, to the sweet part......as of this morning I weigh 231.2.....that is a total of 61lbs lost. I haven't had much of an appetite lately, but I'll take it!