Monday, October 29, 2012


I know I have been abscent from the blogger for a while.....SORRY.....I have been trying to read and stay on top of everybody's blogs, just not posting myself.

I have been so discouraged, y'all know I was told I can't lose any weight while on radiation and for a month after. So I have been holding steady. I guess that's a good thing, at least I'm not gaining.

I have a new addiction...............


Me and the husband have started watching it from Season 1 on Netflix and I cannot stop watching it. I am so in love with Jax Teller. I am starting season 3 tonight. This addiction is so bad that I can't stop thinking about it at work, I watch it online and then re-watch it with husband. I will be so sad when I'm done with the past seasons and have to wait for it to come on Tuesday nights.

Tonight is B's last football game with BRYA this year. It is going to be C.O.L.D. but I'm not complaining, I have been waiting on this cold weather since about April. They are doing a thriller half time show, so that's exciting!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


 Let me just say.....RADIATION SUCKS!!!!!!! I have to go Monday - Friday everyday for 5 weeks.

 Yesterday was my first of 25 treatments. I was scared to death and the only thing I was looking forward to is it being over.  It blew!!!!! I was so tired I could barely get out of bed, and I was sick. I couldn't eat but was vomitting, so we all know how that goes. Today my throat feels raw and I'm still tired. I hope I can make it. They said it shouldn't make me sick, but it's different for everyone. Also they told me yesterday not to lose ANY weight from now until at least a month after the treatments are over. WHAT???? If I can't eat and vomit how am I suppose to maintain my weight, and futhermore I don't want to maintain this weight. This morning I was 235lbs, I really wanted to be 200lbs by the end of this year. Now I feel defeated. I FREAKIN HATE RADIATION!!!!! And brain tumors for that matter. I know that all of this is part of God's plan for my life and that he already has it worked out and that I have to keep my faith in Him, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

 On a happier note, I couldn't be more proud of husband, he was ordained as a deacon Sunday night. He has come a very long way.

Friday, October 5, 2012

I'll Be up in the club just workin on my Fitness

 I have never heard that song before but Husband refers to it alot.

 I plan on getting back at it tomorrow. There were a few weekends when I got up early, before anybody else that lives in my house, and went for a walk/jog.....and I freakin loved it! I plan on starting that back up tomorrow morning. B will be at her Nana's and Husband will be at work, so I will be able to get up and go. I go 2.6 miles around my neighborhood, I know it's not far but it's good for me and I love it!!!!! I have been eating better this week too. I was 237lbs at my last adjustment and today I am....wait for it.....237lbs. Dang it!!!! I go back November 28th, so hopefully I will have lost some by then.....surely.

 I start radiation next Tuesday, I am still not happy about it, but it is what it is. I hope that I have energy to exercise during those 5 weeks. They told me I can't lose more thatn 10-15lbs, and I am going to try to lose just that!

 We are having our house remodeled and it is stressing me out!!!! Picking colors for the outside was hard enough, now we've decided to do our bathroom too, and I am having a heck of a time picking stuff for it.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Down n Out

 I haven't blogged in a week. I am sick. Sick of not seeing any movement on the scale, sick of feeling like a big fat blob, sick of still being able to fit into some of the clothes that I thought for sure would fall off of me by this point. Why, you ask isn't the scale moving......well......that's because I have been eating crap and not exercising. It sickens me that I have let myself do this. I haven't lost any weight in about 3 weeks, and I have done it to my self. Yes, I am having a pity party right now. I am sad about having to have radiation, so I have just not cared about much else. I know I have to get over it. I also had an unrealistic goal to lose 35lbs by Thanksgiving....NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My radiation doc told me I cannot lose more than 10lbs during my treatment.

 What am I going to do about this???? Starting right now (because I just finished all the junk in my lunchbox) I am going to do better. So what if I have to have radiation, so many more people have it way worse than I do. No more Carmel Bugles..... no more Candy Corn M&Ms...... no more eating out for lunch...... no more junk!!!! I am going to start back walking (I haven't done that in at least 2 weeks) and I am going to try to do the 30 day shred. Even if I'm not supposed to lose more than 10lbs in 5 weeks, that's still 10lbs that I can lose! And I can get some exercise in and not feel like a big blob! And after my radiation is over I plan to join a gym. I still have 75-80lbs I want to lose. And I can't wait to HAVE to buy new blue jeans, I can still fit the old ones, although they are very lose and I have to wear a belt I don't want to be able to even put these on my body! I can do it....I hope. It scares me because you always have people that say, "oh, such n such had that surgery and it didn't work." I don't want to be that such n such.

 Ok, pity party over!