Am I doomed to be a fat girl my whole life?????

 I have been MIA for a while. I'm not sure how many, if any read this blog. I just haven't had it in me to tell the world that I am at a stand still. I fell as though I'm always at a stand still. I'll do a little recap.......

January 19, 2012 was the first day of the rest of my life, I went to my first medically supervised weight loss appointment, I weighed 292 pounds. That makes me SICK!!!

April 9, 2012 I had my lap-band surgery.

May 6, 2012 I did my first 5K. I had 3 goals......
1. NOT DIE
2. FINISH
3. FININSH IN UNDER AN HOUR
As you can see, I didn't die, and I finished in 55:11. I was super proud of myself.

After that me, Husband, and B walked almost everyday and I did Sweating to the Oldies (Richard Simmons ain't no joke for an almost 300lb girl).

In October of 2012 my brain tumor had grown, so I had 5 weeks of radiation. Hello, BRICK WALL!!!! I was told not to lose any weight during this time and for a month after the treatments were over, translation.....I ate like the devil and sat on my couch.....I did nothing. I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any either. It was like starting all over from the beginning for me. I still feel like I'm starting over.

 February 2013 I joined the YMCA. I FREAKIN love it!!!! I would go and get on the treadmill or the bike for an hour, work up a decent sweat and I was done.

 February 2013, I quit my full time, steady job to go to work for a friend. I am still working for him, but it is very part time, not steady money. I keep holding on thinking it's going to take off any time now. I have come to the realization in the last few days that I am going to have to find another job. Can we say STRESS!!!!

 In March I did the Wellness Works Program at the Y. The trainer did an assessment and set me up on a weight program. Since I am barely working I WAS going to the Y everyday Monday - Friday. I am in love with doing weights, so I tend to slack on cardio. The last few times I have gone, I park my car in town and walk 1.5 miles to the YMCA, do my weight workout, then walk 1.5 miles back to my car. I love doing that, but my schedule is so WACK, I have only been going like 2x a week. I am finding it hard to find the motivation to go.

 As of today.....I got on the scale and I weigh 229.8. So, all in all I have lost 63 pounds in 15 months. I am proud of every one of the 63 pounds, but I feel like it should be more.

 Once again, I am starting today. I am on my way to walk to the Y and workout. I have a goal to be under 200 pounds by my 34th birthday.....which is July 13th. Even if I am 199.9! So I have to bust out 3 pounds a week. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm sure gonna try.


 Oh......I am doing my 2nd organized 5K this Friday!

July 13th

 This is the day of my 34th birthday, and the day I have set to reach my next goal. That goal is to be 199 pounds!!!! I haven't been under 200lbs in I don't know when (I honestly don't). This gives me 18 weeks and 2 days. I know I can do it, it's just laying off the junk food that's going to be tough for me. I do pretty good on eating well.....well......I did until I quit my freakin job! What the heck was I thinking?!?!?!?! I had another job lined up......well......it's looking like that is falling through. Now here I sit.....and sit......and sit......with no job. And while I sit I crave junk!!!!!

 OK....back to my goal. This morning at the YMCA I did my wellness works accessment. Basically it's a little fitness test.... weight, blood pressure, body fat, BMI, then you do some exercises......3 minute step test, sit-ups, and bench presses. Then the trainer sets you up on an exercise program. My goal is to lose 2 pounds per week. I can do that! My trainer lady kept complimenting me on my legs, she kept saying I have very nice, muscular calves. Who, me? Me? The 232 pound fatty???? Nice calves???? When she did my measurements she said, "you really dont need to lose in your legs." Thanks for the ego boost, Sue! So starting today I am following an exercise program. I am so stoked about it too. I will do the program 2-3 days per week, and on the off days I will still do my cardio.

 Now, onto the job front......I had a job with a friend of mine that I met through my old job, he has a mechanic shop and just opened a car lot, I was to be working at his car lot. The goal was for me to start March 4th, well, I quit my job a week and a half earlier. I expected to be out of work for a week, today has been 2 weeks. I got my last paycheck today and I have no job. I was told we would meet up Sunday to discuss the arrangements, because he needs to be at both places and can't, we were going to rotate, when he has to be at the lot or auction I would be at the shop, when he had to be at the shop I would be at the lot. Sunday he said he was busy and I could meet him Monday that he had a plan worked out and I would start Tuesday. Monday came and went and so did Tuesday. I still haven't heard from him. So today I texted him to see what was up, nothing.....he hasn't called or texted back. So, I am a little pissed he knew I was quitting my job and he knows I don't have another one. I know that he needs me and maybe he's just been too busy to get with me. If I don't hear anything this week I will start looking for something else. Had I known this I would have never left my job in HELL. Oh, here's a little kicker for those of you who haven't had enough.....my boss in HELL is his wife's best friend! Wowza!!!!! As I type this I realize that I may possibly be the biggest idiot in blogland, WHAT THE HECK AM I THINKING?!?!?!?!?!

 Oh well.....you live and learn.

TTT

1. I haven't blogged in a while, I have alot to talk about

2. I got a new tattoo today, if I knew how to post pictures I would . It is an anchor that says HOPE ANCHORS THE SOUL. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!!

3. I quit my job Wednesday a week ago. I was miserable there so I quit!

4. I have a new job lined up. I should be starting next week, and I am very excited about it.

5. I am holding steady at a 60 lb loss.

6. I have been going to the YMCA almost everyday. I said almost.

7. I did Zumba for the 1st time yesterday morning. I am not very good at it with all of my uncoordination and all. I was mostly doing something totally different and in the opposite direction of everyone else in the class. At one point I was just making up my own dance.

8. Husband got a new softball bat yesterday. It is a Miken Ultra. Probably alot of y'all don't know what that is. But it is TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!

9. I have signed up to play co-ed softball this season. I don't now how excited I am about this. I wanted to play but not so sure about co-ed. At least I will be playing with Husband.

10. B is in so much trouble.....she has been slacking on her school work and making bad grades. Middle School....UGH....She has gotten all of her electronic devices taken away until her next report card (April 9) she also got a whoopin. I was actually shocked that Husband whooped her.

Ice Cream Madness

 Friday night B went to a sleep over, so me and Husband had a little date. Nothing major, just went to dinner and came home to watch a movie. We ate supper at Fatz, I did really good, I order the lite side sirloin and steamed broccoli, total plate is less than 500 calories. I did have a sweet tea but barely drank any of it. I know you are all thinking, "oh, she's so awesome, I want to be her" DON'T.....on our way home we stopped at Ingles to rent a movie and that's when it happened......we walked down the ce cream isle, right to the Blue Belle, I now have a half gallon of Blue Belle Buttered Pecan ice cream in my freezer. Why oh why did I let myself do it????? I'm so disappointed, I didn't workout at all yesterday. That is the reason I am up at the butt crack of dawn on a Saturday when I have no kid and Husband is off work and we could stay in bed and cuddle (or whatever), so I can get my tail to the gym!!!


 Hope all y'all have a FABULOUS weekend!!!!

The Elliptical is a BITCH

 I started using my fitness pal yesterday, I am in love with it, but since I haven't been really keeping count on my calories, I realize how BAD I was really doing. Yesterday I was about 300 calories over. So I got my butt on that elliptical (we had some bad storms so I didn't go to church or the Y) I told myself, "Self, we are going to do more than 5 minutes if it kills us." And it almost did, but I made it through. Now, don't think I rocked it out last night, I did 5 minutes, stopped for 2, 5 more, stopped for 2 more, then 5 more minutes. That's right I did a total of 15 minutes on that bitch of a machine!!!! It felt GREAT, not so much today though, I am so SORE!!!!!

 Tonight I'm back at the Y for orientation at 6pm, then walk to run at 7pm. I can't wait!!!

Lapband Doc

 I went to the lapband doc this morning. I have lost 8.4 pounds since my last visit a month ago. Our scales are different so it is sometimes frustrating. She said I am doing good. She told me to stay away from the white stuff (sorry, Husband) to eat lots of protein and greens. I am doing pretty good with that lately. Oh.....I can't believe this.....GREAT NEWS.....this whole week (shut up, I know it's only Wednesday) I have gotten in at least 84oz of water everyday!!! This is a HUGE accomplishment for me!!!!

 Last night we joined the YMCA. I did the walk to run with the Biggest Losers. We only did one mile, walked 2 minutes, ran 1 minute. Normally I can WALK at least 5 miles, when I say normally I mean before September (that's when I stopped). That one mile kicked my tail last night. The end was straight up a hill. It was good for me. Thursday I am doing it again. They are doing it every Tuesday and Thursday and in April they are doing a 5K, which I am joining in on. I am STOKED!!!!

 I need to find some panties that I can workout in and they will stay up. You see, I have NO BUTT or hips. The drawers I wore last night were sliding off, I literally had to hold on to them while we ran. I normally don't wear any (TMI???) but I thought I would try it. Any suggestions????

 My goal is to be 199 pounds by summer!!! Husband keeps saying he can't wait to have a chubby wife.

 Still no baby. That little booger is pissing us off!

Y-M-C-A

 Come on, you know you just sang that! I did!!!!

 I am joining the YMCA after work today and I am totally stoked!!! I have been talking about all year and we're finally doing it. I have a friend that is doing a Biggest Loser thing with a local Christian radio show here and she goes there. I am excited to be able to workout with her. Don't get me wrong, I love Husband and all but he is light years ahead of me when it comes to fitness/athletics. I will love doing it (not actually it, although I do love that) with him too.

 Anyway, Missi's Biggest loser group is starting walk to run tonight and I am joining them. It's basically couch 25K. In March I am going to do a 5K with her and planning another in May. I hope by the one in May I will be able to run at least most of it.

 I go to the weight loss doc tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it, mostly because I have been a slacker this month. But like I said yesterday, I started over!!!!

 Still no baby!