Down n Out

 I haven't blogged in a week. I am sick. Sick of not seeing any movement on the scale, sick of feeling like a big fat blob, sick of still being able to fit into some of the clothes that I thought for sure would fall off of me by this point. Why, you ask isn't the scale moving......well......that's because I have been eating crap and not exercising. It sickens me that I have let myself do this. I haven't lost any weight in about 3 weeks, and I have done it to my self. Yes, I am having a pity party right now. I am sad about having to have radiation, so I have just not cared about much else. I know I have to get over it. I also had an unrealistic goal to lose 35lbs by Thanksgiving....NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. My radiation doc told me I cannot lose more than 10lbs during my treatment.

 What am I going to do about this???? Starting right now (because I just finished all the junk in my lunchbox) I am going to do better. So what if I have to have radiation, so many more people have it way worse than I do. No more Carmel Bugles..... no more Candy Corn M&Ms...... no more eating out for lunch...... no more junk!!!! I am going to start back walking (I haven't done that in at least 2 weeks) and I am going to try to do the 30 day shred. Even if I'm not supposed to lose more than 10lbs in 5 weeks, that's still 10lbs that I can lose! And I can get some exercise in and not feel like a big blob! And after my radiation is over I plan to join a gym. I still have 75-80lbs I want to lose. And I can't wait to HAVE to buy new blue jeans, I can still fit the old ones, although they are very lose and I have to wear a belt I don't want to be able to even put these on my body! I can do it....I hope. It scares me because you always have people that say, "oh, such n such had that surgery and it didn't work." I don't want to be that such n such.

 Ok, pity party over!