Radiation

 This is a downer post......

 So, last week I got the results of my MRI for the tumor. It has grown. Only 1mm in 8 months but still, it has grown. I am not happy about this. I am so sick of this dang tumor!!!! I had surgery for it in April of 2008, didn't get it all, it grew back with avengence. I had surgery again in July of 2011, still couldn't get it all, so now it is still growing. Neurosurgeon said it is an aggressive tumor, it is benign. The tumor is on my pituitary gland, and the part that is still in there is growing up into my brain so the neurosurgeon said more surgery won't help, RADIATION it is. This scares the crap out of me. He said if he tried surgery again (which I DO NOT WANT) he would have to be very aggressive and that would probably damage the pituitary stalk and in turn cause neurological damage. I go today to talk to the Radiation Dr. So, I guess we will have more information this afternoon. Still, I am not happy about it. The neurosurgeon said hopefully it will not grow anymore after this, I'm not convinced, this stupid tumor just won't quit. He also said I will have 2 weeks worth of treatments (Monday-Friday, everyday for 20 minutes), not so bad??? He said I should still be able to work but it will make me very tired.

 I will update this post later with what the radiation doc says.....

 Funny story, last night at cheerleading practice, after Husband and I finished playing tennis (if that's what you want to call it) and walking, we sat down to watch B for a few minutes. The team mom was walking around and I told Husband, "If she dressed for her size, she'd be a pretty nice one." (we always gauk at women and talk about what we like about them) He said, "what do you mean." I said, "she wears clothes that are 3 times too big and she is built pretty good from what I can tell, all I'm saying is if she wore clothes that were actually her size and not her husband's she would look pretty good. She is not a big woman." He then tells me, "Well, Mrs. Fashion Police, why don't you go over there and tell her you're the DOWNSIZED DIVA and you have some pointers for her!" He's so silly!



*****UPDATE*****

 Not good news from the radiation dr. First off I was told by my neurosurgeon that I would have 2 weeks of treatments....NOPE.....5 weeks, everyday Monday-Friday. Then, he said there is only an 80% chance that this will work, so after I go through 5 weeks of treatments there is still a 20% chance the tumor will continue to grow. If it keeps growing they can not radiate it again so the only other option would be surgery, which we already know he can't get all of it. Also, it can cause damage to the pituitary glad which can affect my hormones, and it can damage my vision because the pituitary is very close to the optic nerve. The only good news that came out of today is that the tumor is not cancer, not real sure that even counts because we already knew that.

 I know that I have to have faith. And I know that God already has this worked out, but I can't help but worry about it. It really makes me mad!!!!! I feel like I am in a lose lose situation.